The start of a new year often brings a swirl of emotions, especially for bereaved moms. The world around us may be setting resolutions and focusing on growth, but as mothers carrying the weight of loss, our focus may be different. Grieving a child doesn’t follow a calendar – it’s ongoing and often unpredictable. In this post, I’ll share gentle ways to approach this season while honouring your child’s memory and being compassionate with yourself.
1. Let Go of the “Shoulds” Around New Year’s Resolutions
Traditional New Year’s resolutions can feel overwhelming for grieving mothers. Instead of setting typical goals, consider making “grief-y resolutions” – small, meaningful intentions that focus on self-care and healing. For instance, you could resolve to create more space for your feelings or make room for activities that bring you comfort. These gentle intentions can help ease the pressure while still giving you a sense of purpose. Remember, there is no right or wrong way to move through grief, and every step, no matter how small, is progress.
2. Cultivate Self-Compassion and Allow Space for Rest
Grief can be exhausting, and it’s important to give yourself the compassion you would offer a friend. Start by noticing the thoughts you have about yourself. Are they kind? Gentle? If not, consider replacing any harsh self-criticism with kindness. For example, if you feel guilty for taking time to rest, remind yourself that grieving takes an enormous amount of energy. Give yourself permission to be wherever you are without judgment. Rest when you need it, say no to commitments that feel overwhelming, and recognize that it’s necessary to prioritize your emotional well-being.
3. Resolve to Be What You Loved MOST about Your Child
I can't think of a better way to honour your child. My daughter Katie loved to have fun and laugh loud, but she was kind too and wanted so badly to travel to new places. I try to be more like her and am doing my best to have more fun and have created a bucket list of destination I know she would have loved to visit. Slowly but surely we are going to visit these places, often taking a wee bit of Katie's ashes so that she can be there too. How can you be more like your child?
4. Connect with Others Who Understand
Finding a support system is crucial, and connecting with others who have experienced child loss can provide solace that words alone often cannot. Whether through support groups, online communities, or podcasts for bereaved mothers, seek out people who understand the weight you carry. Knowing you are not alone in your grief journey can provide comfort, validation, and even hope. Sharing your story with those who understand can help release the emotional weight of your loss.
Face New Year's Grief with Grace
The road of grief is unique to each of us, and there’s no prescribed way to navigate it. Take things one day at a time, and remember that healing is not linear. You deserve to find moments of peace along the way.
For more tips and encouragement about New Year's grief, listen to the latest episode of The Angel Moms Podcast, where I dive deeper into these strategies and share more about embracing the New Year with grace, compassion, and gentle self-care. If you’re ready to hear more, LISTEN HERE and take comfort in knowing you’re not alone.
Are you looking for more tips and encouragement that are specific for a grieving mom? Join my Comfort Connection newsletter HERE.
Comments