Grieving the Loss of a Child: What Every Bereaved Mother Needs to Know
- Lisa K. Boehm
- Mar 25
- 3 min read
Losing a child is an unimaginable heartbreak—one that leaves you feeling lost, broken, and unsure how to move forward. In the early days after my daughter Katie passed away, I desperately wished for someone to tell me what to expect, to reassure me that I wasn’t losing my mind, and to give me hope that one day I would survive this grief.
Now, years later, I can offer those words to you. In my latest episode of The Angel Moms Podcast, I share everything I wish I had known in those early days. If you are struggling with grief, this episode will bring you comfort, validation, and real, actionable advice. Below, I’m sharing some of the biggest takeaways, to help you navigate this path through grief and loss.
1. You Are Not Going Crazy—This is Grief
In the aftermath of child loss, everything feels upside down. You may feel exhausted yet unable to sleep. Simple tasks, like remembering an appointment or following a conversation, may seem impossible. You may feel like your emotions are out of control. Angel Mom, I want you to know—this is grief. It scrambles your thoughts, takes away your sense of time, and makes even basic daily functions difficult. But no matter how overwhelming it feels, you are not losing your mind. You are grieving. And, I promise, you will find your footing again.
2. Grief is Not a Straight Line, and There’s No Right Way to Do It
One of the biggest misconceptions about grief is that it follows a neat, linear path. You may have heard of the five stages of grief—denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance—but these were originally created to describe the emotions of terminally ill patients, not bereaved parents. Grief is messy. It comes in waves. Some days you will feel moments of peace, only to be hit by sorrow again. You are not failing at grief. You are simply grieving in the way that your heart needs to.
3. Be Gentle With Yourself and Avoid Comparisons
It’s easy to compare yourself to other grieving mothers and wonder if you’re doing it “wrong.” Some moms seem to get back to life faster, while others struggle longer. But the truth is, grief looks different for everyone. There is no timeline for healing. Your journey is your own, and you are doing the best you can. Be gentle with yourself. Give yourself grace on the hard days.
4. Find Support Sooner Rather Than Later
If I could go back, I would tell myself to reach out sooner—to support groups, other bereaved moms, or someone who truly understands. Grief is isolating, but it doesn’t have to be. It might be an online community or a friend who listens, connection is crucial in this journey. If you’re unsure where to start, I created The Angel Moms Community just for grieving mothers like you—because no one should have to walk this path alone.
5. Take Care of Your Body—Even When You Don’t Want To
Grief doesn’t just affect your emotions—it affects your body, too. You might experience headaches, body aches, a racing heart, or nausea. The smallest self-care actions can make a difference. Drink water, nourish your body with food, prioritize rest, and get outside for fresh air. No, it won’t take the pain away—but it will help you feel a little stronger as you carry it.
6. Be Open to Different Coping Strategies
You won’t know what helps until you try. At first, nothing may feel right, and that’s okay. But be open-minded—whether it’s journaling, therapy, meditation, or creative outlets. Over time, you’ll find the tools that help you process your grief and begin to heal in your own way.
Listen to the Full Episode for More Guidance after the Loss of a Child
Grief is a long road, Angel Mom, but you are not alone. In this episode of The Angel Moms Podcast, I dive even deeper into these lessons, offering reassurance, encouragement, and actionable steps for navigating loss.
PS: I have created a free video series that speaks to the unique challenges faced by grieving moms. You can request it here.
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