The holiday season can be a particularly challenging time for those who have experienced the loss of a child. As the festive cheer surrounds us, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed by grief, especially when memories of your child are everywhere.
In this blog, I share my personal journey through ten Christmases without my daughter, Katie. Here are eight tips to help you cope during this difficult time, along with a free download to honour your child’s memory.
1. Plan Ahead
Knowing that the holiday season will be difficult, think about what you need and how you want to spend the holidays. Whether that means shopping at quieter times or opting for online purchases, planning can help ease the emotional load. Do you need people to acknowledge your child or honour your request to have a quiet day? Start thinking how you can make this happen.
2. Set Boundaries
It’s essential to communicate your needs with family and friends. Let them know if you require quiet time or space to process your feelings. Setting boundaries can prevent you from feeling overwhelmed by others' expectations during the holidays. It's ok to say no. Christmas after child loss is hard!
3. Incorporate Your Child into Celebrations
Finding ways to honour your child’s memory can be incredibly healing. Consider setting a place at the dinner table, displaying a special photo, or lighting a candle in their honour. Encourage guests to share stories about your child, ensuring their spirit remains alive during this time.
4. Create New Traditions
Old traditions can often be painful. Instead, consider creating new ones that allow you to find peace in different ways. One inspiring story from a fellow angel mom involved switching away from the traditional turkey dinner to themed menus from around the world.
5. Give Yourself Permission to Opt-Out
Remember, it’s okay to step back from the usual holiday activities. If participating feels overwhelming, focus on self-care. Whether it’s reading a good book, soaking in a bath, or simply resting, prioritize what you need during this challenging time.
6. Limit Social Media
The holiday season is filled with images of happy families, which can feel like a punch in the gut. If social media brings you down, consider taking a break. Focus on connecting with communities that understand your grief instead or spend your time watching calming movies or soothing TV programs.
7. Spend Time Outdoors
Getting outside, even for a short walk, can significantly improve your mood. Nature can be a comforting space to reflect and feel more connected to your child's spirit. It’s a simple yet effective way to find grounding during the holiday chaos.
8. Seek Professional Support
If the weight of grief feels too heavy, don’t hesitate to reach out to a grief counsellor or join a support group. Having someone to talk to can provide relief and validation, especially during a time that may feel particularly isolating.
Free Download: Honour Your Child This Christmas
To further support you, I’ve created a free download just for bereaved mothers. It's called “7 Ways to Honour Your Child at Christmas.” This resource provides additional ideas and inspiration for incorporating your child's memory into the holiday season.
You can access it here.
Listen to the Full Episode: Christmas after Child Loss
These tips are just a glimpse of what we discuss in the latest episode of the Angel Moms Podcast. If you're seeking comfort, guidance, and hope during the holiday season, I invite you to listen to the full episode. Listen HERE.
Wishing you moments of peace this Christmas and always,
Lisa Boehm
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